(( from here ))
[They are a balance for one another, in a way that Keith desperately needs. On his own he's caught up in the sky with no place to land, some spiral headed for the surface with no bearings. But Shiro is and always has been his constant, something he can orient himself to, true north.
So that hand takes his and the world makes a little more sense. Huh.]
Yeah. I'd really like that too, Shiro. There's... there's a lot to tell you.
[They are a balance for one another, in a way that Keith desperately needs. On his own he's caught up in the sky with no place to land, some spiral headed for the surface with no bearings. But Shiro is and always has been his constant, something he can orient himself to, true north.
So that hand takes his and the world makes a little more sense. Huh.]
Yeah. I'd really like that too, Shiro. There's... there's a lot to tell you.
I have a lot to tell you too. [A beep from the console causes him to whip his head back around and he sighs. The Lion needs his attention. He guides it out into open space and throws the throttle forward.]
It has been quieter lately. Or at least, we've hit a small lull.
[He remembers what Kolivan said. Yet he won't let go of Keith's hand. Not yet.]
All this in-fighting among the Galra has given us breathing room we all needed.
It has been quieter lately. Or at least, we've hit a small lull.
[He remembers what Kolivan said. Yet he won't let go of Keith's hand. Not yet.]
All this in-fighting among the Galra has given us breathing room we all needed.
Lotor's taking the throne really has changed the stakes.
[Keith is too cynical for his own good about it honestly, but he'll take the good for what it is. Shiro is right. They've needed the breathing room. Pretty desperately. In the Blade too. They've been stretched incredibly thin for a while.
And Keith won't let go either, not until he has to. The comfort he's drawing from that small contact is kind of incredible, the reassurance that the rift he was sure had been torn between the two of them had been little more than a nightmarish mirage only so real as his belief in it.]
I got caught in some of that infighting a while back, extracting one of our operatives. [Which is wow one of the things he really needs to tell Shiro about because he is still not sure how to handle meeting his mother.]
[Keith is too cynical for his own good about it honestly, but he'll take the good for what it is. Shiro is right. They've needed the breathing room. Pretty desperately. In the Blade too. They've been stretched incredibly thin for a while.
And Keith won't let go either, not until he has to. The comfort he's drawing from that small contact is kind of incredible, the reassurance that the rift he was sure had been torn between the two of them had been little more than a nightmarish mirage only so real as his belief in it.]
I got caught in some of that infighting a while back, extracting one of our operatives. [Which is wow one of the things he really needs to tell Shiro about because he is still not sure how to handle meeting his mother.]
We’ve been to Central Command. He went so far as to recreate the old banners from ten thousand years ago. When Altea and the Galra were at peace. I don’t know what his angle is. But at least...we can learn a great deal about the empire from within.
[But being alone with Keith like this prompts him to ask something that he’d have never brought up anywhere else. Keith has flown the Black Lion before. Been connected to them in ways no one else has. He stares straight ahead.]
Keith. You’ve. You’re the only one I think could even answer this question. But when you flew the Black Lion and used it. Did you...ever black out because of using the Lion’s abilities?
[But being alone with Keith like this prompts him to ask something that he’d have never brought up anywhere else. Keith has flown the Black Lion before. Been connected to them in ways no one else has. He stares straight ahead.]
Keith. You’ve. You’re the only one I think could even answer this question. But when you flew the Black Lion and used it. Did you...ever black out because of using the Lion’s abilities?
May as well make the best of it while we can, but we're not getting the whole story with him, that's for sure.
[Because seriously. Even the old banners? That... that is laying it on so thick, isn't it? Keith really doesn't know what to make of the whole Lotor thing, but there's nothing to do but stay vigilant, is there? And let the infighting work for them as long as they can.
But all those thoughts scatter like so many leaves in the wind, turning his gaze to Shiro, uncertainly. He shakes his head.]
No, nothing like that. You did? [Is that... is that good?] I mean... maybe it's different with me. I never bonded with Black as strongly as you did. I... I couldn't. [Because of his own doubts but also because he didn't want to, didn't want to really accept that Shiro was gone, never coming back. It felt like giving up on him, betraying him somehow, and Keith couldn't live with that.]
[Because seriously. Even the old banners? That... that is laying it on so thick, isn't it? Keith really doesn't know what to make of the whole Lotor thing, but there's nothing to do but stay vigilant, is there? And let the infighting work for them as long as they can.
But all those thoughts scatter like so many leaves in the wind, turning his gaze to Shiro, uncertainly. He shakes his head.]
No, nothing like that. You did? [Is that... is that good?] I mean... maybe it's different with me. I never bonded with Black as strongly as you did. I... I couldn't. [Because of his own doubts but also because he didn't want to, didn't want to really accept that Shiro was gone, never coming back. It felt like giving up on him, betraying him somehow, and Keith couldn't live with that.]
[He'd been afraid that Keith would say that. A nagging feeling he should stop talking about this comes up and he shoves it down. Now that he's opening up he won't go silent.]
...No one else has blacked out. [It's not good. He hasn't been hiding this. But he hasn't talked about it either. He'd brought up his misgivings to Lance. And now that it's out in the open he can't keep quiet about it. No matter what pressure it puts on Keith.]
I've done it twice now. I don't remember what goes in on those gaps. Lance said last time that everyone went into a different space within Voltron. I was there and trying to shout something at him. I...don't remember it.
[He avoids Keith's gaze for a moment, staring down at the controls. It doesn't feel good to let it all out.]
Not even a flicker of a memory. It's not the only problem I've noticed but I don't...I don't know how to explain it. [His hand tightens on the controls and he's careful not to let the other one do the same. Shiro breathes in deep and meets Keith's eyes, his own uncertainty painted on his face.]
My head feels...confused. I think it started when I came back and it's gotten worse since then. I...I don't always feel like myself, Keith.
...No one else has blacked out. [It's not good. He hasn't been hiding this. But he hasn't talked about it either. He'd brought up his misgivings to Lance. And now that it's out in the open he can't keep quiet about it. No matter what pressure it puts on Keith.]
I've done it twice now. I don't remember what goes in on those gaps. Lance said last time that everyone went into a different space within Voltron. I was there and trying to shout something at him. I...don't remember it.
[He avoids Keith's gaze for a moment, staring down at the controls. It doesn't feel good to let it all out.]
Not even a flicker of a memory. It's not the only problem I've noticed but I don't...I don't know how to explain it. [His hand tightens on the controls and he's careful not to let the other one do the same. Shiro breathes in deep and meets Keith's eyes, his own uncertainty painted on his face.]
My head feels...confused. I think it started when I came back and it's gotten worse since then. I...I don't always feel like myself, Keith.
[Keith tightens his hand around Shiro's plenty even if the older man avoids doing so. Okay. Shiro's been blacking out. Shiro doesn't feel like himself, and Keith knows without a doubt that he's been gone too long. He meets Shiro's gaze and answers that uncertainty with crystal clear certainty of his own. All right. He nods.]
Guess we better figure that out. Especially the black out thing. If you disappear again I swear I will kick your ass after I find you this time.
[It's a thin joke at best, but Keith feels oddly sure of things right now. Shiro needs him and nothing focuses his world to s clear bright line than that, nothing ever has, ever will.] We don't know what happened while you were gone. You came back [to me] to us, and that's what mattered. It's still what matters. Whatever is going on, we'll get to the bottom of it and fix it.
[Shiro has held everyone together for so long, carried the weight of the goddamned universe on his shoulders. Keith thinks it's about time someone took some of that weight from him.]
Guess we better figure that out. Especially the black out thing. If you disappear again I swear I will kick your ass after I find you this time.
[It's a thin joke at best, but Keith feels oddly sure of things right now. Shiro needs him and nothing focuses his world to s clear bright line than that, nothing ever has, ever will.] We don't know what happened while you were gone. You came back [to me] to us, and that's what mattered. It's still what matters. Whatever is going on, we'll get to the bottom of it and fix it.
[Shiro has held everyone together for so long, carried the weight of the goddamned universe on his shoulders. Keith thinks it's about time someone took some of that weight from him.]
[The joke isn’t funny in the least but he laughs anyway, letting it serve as a pressure release.]
Don’t worry, I don’t intend to disappear again if I have anything to say about it. [He still feels turned around and confused. But having Keith to hold onto makes it easier to breathe. He shoves all his fears back down and straightenes up in the chair.]
There’s not much else I can tell you about this. I’m not sure how to put all of it into words. It’s only recently I even noticed there was a problem. ...I made the mistake before of pushing too hard on you.
I won’t do that again. But Keith, if my decisions can’t be trusted...I... [He scrubs at his face. He needs to say it. Yet the words get stuck and he shakes his head.]
If my decisions become too questionable. I may have to step down.
Don’t worry, I don’t intend to disappear again if I have anything to say about it. [He still feels turned around and confused. But having Keith to hold onto makes it easier to breathe. He shoves all his fears back down and straightenes up in the chair.]
There’s not much else I can tell you about this. I’m not sure how to put all of it into words. It’s only recently I even noticed there was a problem. ...I made the mistake before of pushing too hard on you.
I won’t do that again. But Keith, if my decisions can’t be trusted...I... [He scrubs at his face. He needs to say it. Yet the words get stuck and he shakes his head.]
If my decisions become too questionable. I may have to step down.
Yeah, but you've told me now. So now both of us can keep an eye out for what's happening. I'm here now, so you don't have to carry this alone.
[Right? Well, that is Keith's plan anyway. He's already considering the conversation with Kolivan, how to frame the request-that-will-not-be-a-request that he's going to keep himself stationed with Voltron for a stretch, that with everything happening with Lotor, it's probably best that someone from the Blade be nearby and keeping an ear to the ground, as it were. There isn't any need to bring up Shiro -- even if it's likely Kolivan will realize that Keith hasn't given him a full explanation.
But his thoughts are derailed as Shiro keeps speaking, wide and just-off-of-terrified violet eyes fixing on the other man.] You're not going to have step anywhere. Whatever's going on, we're going to figure it out.
[Because Shiro can't possibly mean he wants Keith to lead again, after the mess he made last time, after Keith full on ran away to the Blade. Shiro can't possibly trust him with something like that anymore. ...can he?]
[Right? Well, that is Keith's plan anyway. He's already considering the conversation with Kolivan, how to frame the request-that-will-not-be-a-request that he's going to keep himself stationed with Voltron for a stretch, that with everything happening with Lotor, it's probably best that someone from the Blade be nearby and keeping an ear to the ground, as it were. There isn't any need to bring up Shiro -- even if it's likely Kolivan will realize that Keith hasn't given him a full explanation.
But his thoughts are derailed as Shiro keeps speaking, wide and just-off-of-terrified violet eyes fixing on the other man.] You're not going to have step anywhere. Whatever's going on, we're going to figure it out.
[Because Shiro can't possibly mean he wants Keith to lead again, after the mess he made last time, after Keith full on ran away to the Blade. Shiro can't possibly trust him with something like that anymore. ...can he?]
Edited (html is hard on my phone) 2018-05-01 19:52 (UTC)
[He halts the lion entirely and twists in the seat to face Keith. He grips his shoulder with his other hand as he says, quietly.] Please don't take this as you have to. I'm talking about this because whatever is going on...I trust you.
[He spots the fear and shuts his eyes. Damn it. This is exactly what he'd sought to avoid. Frustrated with himself he sighs and grips Keith's hand in his a little tighter.]
But, I won't force this talk if you don't want to have it. You're right, we can both keep an eye on me. That can be enough for now. [Tired, grey eyes brimming with unhappiness meet violet.]
I don't like this either. You made your choices and have done what you needed to do for yourself. I don't want to interfere with that.
[He spots the fear and shuts his eyes. Damn it. This is exactly what he'd sought to avoid. Frustrated with himself he sighs and grips Keith's hand in his a little tighter.]
But, I won't force this talk if you don't want to have it. You're right, we can both keep an eye on me. That can be enough for now. [Tired, grey eyes brimming with unhappiness meet violet.]
I don't like this either. You made your choices and have done what you needed to do for yourself. I don't want to interfere with that.
[Keith startles as the lion stops, but his attention turns immediately to Shiro. God when doesn't it. He wonders if the other man understands the depth of it. He wonders if even he himself does sometimes. But those thoughts can wait, have to wait because he's meeting Shiro's gaze, the weight of that hand at his shoulder oddly grounding. I trust you. Shiro says, like he means it, after everything. And something that has been cold and sharp and roiling in shattered pieces in Keith settles, falls into place, razor edged shapes fitting and smoothing and he takes a breath.]
...no. [He begins which isn't the best start but thankfully he continues.] I want to talk about it. I've been running, Shiro. You know it as much as I do. But I have learned a lot about who I am. And who I want to be.
[Sometimes in as painful a lesson as he could have imagined.] I can't lead like you. [That is clear.] But if you still trust me, if it comes to it, maybe I can lead like me.
[A pause and he adds,] But I'm in no hurry to try, so don't get any ideas about an easy early retirement. Got it? This is a 'break glass in case of emergency' thing. [Keith even manages a smile and glances at the view screen.] Think Black even remembers me?
...no. [He begins which isn't the best start but thankfully he continues.] I want to talk about it. I've been running, Shiro. You know it as much as I do. But I have learned a lot about who I am. And who I want to be.
[Sometimes in as painful a lesson as he could have imagined.] I can't lead like you. [That is clear.] But if you still trust me, if it comes to it, maybe I can lead like me.
[A pause and he adds,] But I'm in no hurry to try, so don't get any ideas about an easy early retirement. Got it? This is a 'break glass in case of emergency' thing. [Keith even manages a smile and glances at the view screen.] Think Black even remembers me?
[He takes a second to catch his breath and laughs, looking at the view screen and readouts.]
I think your bond with Black never faded. When I asked for help finding you I got your exact location. And we teleported directly to you. The second time I've ever used that ability.
[Keith had been running. But now that he's standing his ground his mind races on how to help him ease into this decision.]
...I'm sorry you thought you had to copy how I lead. I should have corrected that. Keith, you can only ever be yourself. You have to find a way that comes naturally to you. [He squeezes his shoulder and smiles. Yes, he's sure Keith can do this. If he has to.] I think if you relax and trust yourself you'll find it.
[With one last squeeze of his shoulder, Shiro sits back down and puts both hands on the controls. He tosses a smile back at him,]
And I'm not going to retire right away. I was thinking more along the lines of what we didn't have time for before. Giving you time to bond with Black and train for that just in case.
What do you think? How this goes is entirely up to you.
I think your bond with Black never faded. When I asked for help finding you I got your exact location. And we teleported directly to you. The second time I've ever used that ability.
[Keith had been running. But now that he's standing his ground his mind races on how to help him ease into this decision.]
...I'm sorry you thought you had to copy how I lead. I should have corrected that. Keith, you can only ever be yourself. You have to find a way that comes naturally to you. [He squeezes his shoulder and smiles. Yes, he's sure Keith can do this. If he has to.] I think if you relax and trust yourself you'll find it.
[With one last squeeze of his shoulder, Shiro sits back down and puts both hands on the controls. He tosses a smile back at him,]
And I'm not going to retire right away. I was thinking more along the lines of what we didn't have time for before. Giving you time to bond with Black and train for that just in case.
What do you think? How this goes is entirely up to you.
[That much comes as a surprise and he ducks his head, murmuring a quiet,] Thanks for the assist.
[He remembers it too well, sitting in the pilot's seat that first time, Shiro gone, and Keith pleading with the Black Lion for it not to be him, because how could he ever fill those shoes. Shiro was always the one to hold them together, and Keith could barely keep himself from tearing apart. And he'd made every mistake, pushed too hard, too far, too fast, which is a metaphor for his whole damn life honestly.
It's still terrifying to think of ever being in that seat again, but just because it scares him, he can't keep running. And besides the smile on Shiro's face is enough for him. After the way the older man had looked, the stress and uncertainty. If he can do this, be there for him, well. He owes Shiro at least that much.
He leans a hip against the pilot's seat and crosses his arms over his chest.] Yeah. Okay. Training. I can do that. I'll have to let Kolivan know I need more time. There have to be missions that'll keep me closer to the castle. [A pause and he adds, casually as he can,] Guess I should check in with my mom too. [Because he has one of those now and it's so damn complicated.]
[He remembers it too well, sitting in the pilot's seat that first time, Shiro gone, and Keith pleading with the Black Lion for it not to be him, because how could he ever fill those shoes. Shiro was always the one to hold them together, and Keith could barely keep himself from tearing apart. And he'd made every mistake, pushed too hard, too far, too fast, which is a metaphor for his whole damn life honestly.
It's still terrifying to think of ever being in that seat again, but just because it scares him, he can't keep running. And besides the smile on Shiro's face is enough for him. After the way the older man had looked, the stress and uncertainty. If he can do this, be there for him, well. He owes Shiro at least that much.
He leans a hip against the pilot's seat and crosses his arms over his chest.] Yeah. Okay. Training. I can do that. I'll have to let Kolivan know I need more time. There have to be missions that'll keep me closer to the castle. [A pause and he adds, casually as he can,] Guess I should check in with my mom too. [Because he has one of those now and it's so damn complicated.]
[He almost plows right into a stray asteroid and just barely skims over it. He looks over his shoulder at Keith with wide eyes.] What??
[Mom. That's not a word he expected to hear. The shock drains away and he eyes his friend with a small amount of wariness. Considering how carefully casual Keith put that, and he knows him well enough, there's got to be a lot of mixed feelings there.] ...That shouldn't be a problem. Kolivan and I have regular talks to pass intel back and forth. I can add my own request to take up some of your time.
[He has idea how to approach the subject of a mother with Keith. That's likely a mutual feeling.]
We found Commander Holt. We sent him back to Earth with messages and the tech he needs to get Earth's defenses up to speed with everyone else.
[Mom. That's not a word he expected to hear. The shock drains away and he eyes his friend with a small amount of wariness. Considering how carefully casual Keith put that, and he knows him well enough, there's got to be a lot of mixed feelings there.] ...That shouldn't be a problem. Kolivan and I have regular talks to pass intel back and forth. I can add my own request to take up some of your time.
[He has idea how to approach the subject of a mother with Keith. That's likely a mutual feeling.]
We found Commander Holt. We sent him back to Earth with messages and the tech he needs to get Earth's defenses up to speed with everyone else.
[Whoa. Keith grabs onto the back of the chair. That... was at least a better reaction than his, Shiro. Honestly. He nods though, at the incredulity of it.]
Kolivan sent me to extract an operative that had been undercover, and... it was... her.
[He's still trying to sort out what he thinks and feels. Rationally, rationally Keith knows she had to make a hard choice, that she must've had her reasons. But the problem with Keith is, ration and reason are all well and good, but he has always been led by his emotions, his mixed up little heart always in the driver's seat.
And that heart is hurt and angry and grew up alone and fully aware he was never good enough for anyone to ever stay. He'd been so adrift. Where would he even be if he'd never met Shiro? But now here's his mother and he wants to get to know her and everything about her but the hurt and the anger won't go away.]
It's complicated.
[But hey. At least Shiro has good news.] Pidge and Matt must be relieved. ...hopefully they never have to use it, but it's good to be prepared.
Kolivan sent me to extract an operative that had been undercover, and... it was... her.
[He's still trying to sort out what he thinks and feels. Rationally, rationally Keith knows she had to make a hard choice, that she must've had her reasons. But the problem with Keith is, ration and reason are all well and good, but he has always been led by his emotions, his mixed up little heart always in the driver's seat.
And that heart is hurt and angry and grew up alone and fully aware he was never good enough for anyone to ever stay. He'd been so adrift. Where would he even be if he'd never met Shiro? But now here's his mother and he wants to get to know her and everything about her but the hurt and the anger won't go away.]
It's complicated.
[But hey. At least Shiro has good news.] Pidge and Matt must be relieved. ...hopefully they never have to use it, but it's good to be prepared.
[The castle looms ahead of them in the distance like a far away star. Shiro tips the controls forward, easing their speed up as he makes his approach. He twists the left lever, putting them Lion into a sharp turn.]
I'm worried they'll have to. The whole universe has seen us Paladins. It doesn't take much math to put things together. Especially to the Galra.
[They still have a little more time before they reach their destination. He draws in a breath and lets it out.]
...Keith. You're both strangers. Of course it's going to be complicated. Do you want to know her?
I'm worried they'll have to. The whole universe has seen us Paladins. It doesn't take much math to put things together. Especially to the Galra.
[They still have a little more time before they reach their destination. He draws in a breath and lets it out.]
...Keith. You're both strangers. Of course it's going to be complicated. Do you want to know her?
[It's a good point but not one that is pleasant to consider. Keith's expression presses into a frown.]
If they wanted to force Voltron's hand, it'd be a good play. [Drag the paladins' home planet into it. Hopefully it never came to that. Because even with a leg up on technology building any defense system to be even remotely strong enough to matter would take time. Somehow that always seems to be against them. Keith shakes his head as if to break free of those thoughts. Just more reason to press on, to make sure the Galra didn't reassemble themselves out of the chaos born out of Zarkon's death.
Keith's gaze stays fixed on the screen even as Shiro speaks. Because he doesn't know how to answer that question. Not really.]
Yes.I don't know... she's my mother. I want to know so much. But I'm... she left me, Shiro. Without even... [Without anything but a strange knife and no explanation. And then his father had been gone and. He shakes his head.] Am I supposed to just be okay with that?
If they wanted to force Voltron's hand, it'd be a good play. [Drag the paladins' home planet into it. Hopefully it never came to that. Because even with a leg up on technology building any defense system to be even remotely strong enough to matter would take time. Somehow that always seems to be against them. Keith shakes his head as if to break free of those thoughts. Just more reason to press on, to make sure the Galra didn't reassemble themselves out of the chaos born out of Zarkon's death.
Keith's gaze stays fixed on the screen even as Shiro speaks. Because he doesn't know how to answer that question. Not really.]
Yes.I don't know... she's my mother. I want to know so much. But I'm... she left me, Shiro. Without even... [Without anything but a strange knife and no explanation. And then his father had been gone and. He shakes his head.] Am I supposed to just be okay with that?
I don’t think you’re supposed to. [He looks back at him, searching his face. He can hear the longing in Keith’s voice. It hurts to hear it and he hears it without flinching.]
But are you going to let that stop you from getting what you want? [The hangar looms before them and he automatically slows the Lion. They flow through the curve to the launch pad. He adjusts himself to drop into it.
Once they are settled on it he lets go of the controls. They’re lucky. No one had noticed he’d left. He climbs to his feet and stretches. His back pops and he comes around the side of the chair to lay a hand on Keith’s shoulder.]
Talk to her. Find out her reasons. I’m sure they won’t help make it better but you’ll know them.
But are you going to let that stop you from getting what you want? [The hangar looms before them and he automatically slows the Lion. They flow through the curve to the launch pad. He adjusts himself to drop into it.
Once they are settled on it he lets go of the controls. They’re lucky. No one had noticed he’d left. He climbs to his feet and stretches. His back pops and he comes around the side of the chair to lay a hand on Keith’s shoulder.]
Talk to her. Find out her reasons. I’m sure they won’t help make it better but you’ll know them.
Wouldn't be the first time I fucked up something out of spite...
[Keith admits in a decent show of self-awareness, offering a wry twist of a smile up at Shiro. So uh... things got rough at the Garrison after the Kerberos mission disappeared, after they tried to play it off as pilot error. Keith has never been so angry as he was a that, flat out refusing to even consider it. Because there's no way it could have been. Anyway, getting himself expelled hadn't been the best move. He had no idea where to go from there. If he hadn't stumbled into an actual galactic alien war, he'd still be lost. Wandering.
But Shiro's right. Like Shiro usually is. And as that hand falls on his shoulder, Keith ducks his head, grateful for the reassurance. The advice. Hell, grateful for the contact. It takes a pretty good dose of self control not to turn and ambush the older man with a hug.] But you're right. I want to know... why. How. I want to know her.
[He wants a mother, despite how badly he doesn't want to want one, after all the years of dealing on his own.]
...so. Think the others will be surprised to see me?
I think they’ll be mad at me first. This isn’t the first time I rushed off without telling anyone. [Funny how he has fallen into behaviors similar to what he’d snapped at Keith about. He sighs, smile briefly sheepish and steps in close, wrapping an arm around Keith.]
Then happy. You’ve been missed here. A lot more than you know. [He pulls him into the hug he has wanted to give since he saw him again. They’ll figure everything out. Keith’s mother. The Blades. His own growing list of problems. Some how they’ll make it through.]
Then happy. You’ve been missed here. A lot more than you know. [He pulls him into the hug he has wanted to give since he saw him again. They’ll figure everything out. Keith’s mother. The Blades. His own growing list of problems. Some how they’ll make it through.]
[That doesn't sound like Shiro, is the thought that goes through Keith's mind. It isn't. The other man is nothing if not controlled. Keith is the impulsive one, the one whose leaps come several days before his looks. And it is concerning. If something is wrong with Shiro, Keith is determined to fix it. All he knows, the one thing that he's entirely certain of, is he will not lose Shiro again. He refuses to even entertain the idea. So they'll work this out, and he's here now.
There's always been a level of trust between them, and some part of Keith likes to think Shiro can rely on him, at least a little. But he's been gone, running like he'd admitted earlier. He's done with that now. If the the other man needs him, Keith wants to be here for that.] Yeah well, speaking selfishly, I'm kinda glad you didn't stop to check in. I'd definitely have been plant food.
[Then that hug comes and Keith falls silent. There's no hesitation as he steps into Shiro, eyes falling shut, arms finding their way around him, falling into the familiar gesture with a rush of relief he doesn't expect, that nearly knocks him from his feet. Kind of feels like coming home.] I missed them too. Even Lance.
[Grudgingly.]
They'll understand once I explain it. [They will. Keith is theirs. Any one of them would have rushed to save him. He considers driving home how much he's been missed. Then discards it. Keith has always been one to need visual proof. He'll let them all show him how much he means.]
Come on. I'm still on bridge shift for fifteen more minutes. Then Lance has to do his thirty.
[He doubts Lance will do any posturing to prove he's superior today. Peacock that he can be he's been quieter and more confident. It's enough he'd felt comfortable enough to lean on him a little. Slowly, reluctantly he lets go of Keith and steps back around the chair to head out of the lion.
The systems usually shut down after he does that. Today they stay on, glowing brightly with a flashing dot to indicate where Keith is in space and where Shiro himself off. They only wink out once Keith has seen the data. The Black Lion hasn't forgotten him at all.]
Come on. I'm still on bridge shift for fifteen more minutes. Then Lance has to do his thirty.
[He doubts Lance will do any posturing to prove he's superior today. Peacock that he can be he's been quieter and more confident. It's enough he'd felt comfortable enough to lean on him a little. Slowly, reluctantly he lets go of Keith and steps back around the chair to head out of the lion.
The systems usually shut down after he does that. Today they stay on, glowing brightly with a flashing dot to indicate where Keith is in space and where Shiro himself off. They only wink out once Keith has seen the data. The Black Lion hasn't forgotten him at all.]
[Shiro knows him too well, Keith thinks. It's a problem, but it's also always been a relief in a way. Sometimes Keith struggles to see things up close, where his greatest insecurities and uncertainties lie. But Shiro has seen the worst of him, and even after this last stretch of distance and tension and what Keith had been so sure was disappointment that couldn't be overcome, the other man still looks at him like he matters, still trusts him enough to rely on him, to open up about the troubles in his own mind. It's more than Keith had hoped for, but then, he's never been the optimistic type.
He straightens a bit as the hug ends -- missing it a little more than he expects, near immediately, but maybe that's not surprising. Shiro is really the only one he's ever had or even sought out that easy physical affection with. He'd missed it, missed him. But for the moment at least he's back, close instead of throwing himself to the edges of this galaxy and chasing things he's already found.]
So a few more minutes of peace and quiet, huh?
[Before the others filter in. He nods to himself, half starting to follow Shiro, but he stops half a step from the chair. His eyes catch the still lit display, the two little points of light highlighted there. A smile finds his lips and he ducks his head.] Thanks... [An affectionate clap of his hand against the top of the pilot's chair and he moves to follow Shiro off, hands on his hips as he makes it into the hangar.]
It's good to be back. Kinda weird. But good.
He straightens a bit as the hug ends -- missing it a little more than he expects, near immediately, but maybe that's not surprising. Shiro is really the only one he's ever had or even sought out that easy physical affection with. He'd missed it, missed him. But for the moment at least he's back, close instead of throwing himself to the edges of this galaxy and chasing things he's already found.]
So a few more minutes of peace and quiet, huh?
[Before the others filter in. He nods to himself, half starting to follow Shiro, but he stops half a step from the chair. His eyes catch the still lit display, the two little points of light highlighted there. A smile finds his lips and he ducks his head.] Thanks... [An affectionate clap of his hand against the top of the pilot's chair and he moves to follow Shiro off, hands on his hips as he makes it into the hangar.]
It's good to be back. Kinda weird. But good.
No it's cool. I laughed for a good five minutes. I'm focusedroar!
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spaceforged
2018-05-04 05:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[The lion draws itself up and Shiro laughs. He can tell at a glance that Keith has been hammered into a better fighter than he had been. He moves well, light and almost soundless.]
That's right, few more minutes. Then I'll have to explain everything. But, when I get you alone I want to see all you learned out there.
[He hasn't had a good spar since Keith left. Lance is learning blades. Allura can pace herself but it's not the same as fist to fist, sword to sword arm. The gladiator robots don't compare to a living and breathing opponent. ...and his mind always skitters away from asking Lotor for reasons he doesn't understand. Or question.]
If things are still quiet tomorrow...want to have your first flight in Black? There's a few good areas around here that would perfect for you to get used to how it handles compared to Red or any other fighter you've been using.
That's right, few more minutes. Then I'll have to explain everything. But, when I get you alone I want to see all you learned out there.
[He hasn't had a good spar since Keith left. Lance is learning blades. Allura can pace herself but it's not the same as fist to fist, sword to sword arm. The gladiator robots don't compare to a living and breathing opponent. ...and his mind always skitters away from asking Lotor for reasons he doesn't understand. Or question.]
If things are still quiet tomorrow...want to have your first flight in Black? There's a few good areas around here that would perfect for you to get used to how it handles compared to Red or any other fighter you've been using.
[Working with the Blade did come with the "benefit" of having his ass handed to him by aliens nearly twice his size on a regular basis, in the name of "training." But it has paid off. Some of his rougher edges have been refined, technique rather than all instinct -- though Keith would likely always be driven more by the latter than anything else. He stops beside Shiro, smiling -- excited about the prospect of getting Shiro on the training deck again, and honestly just pleased to hear that laugh.]
Yeah, definitely. Sounds like fun. ...hope you haven't gone and gotten rusty on me.
[And the opportunity to be a brat wouldn't be passed up apparently, for the moment. Or ever, probably. But he's looking forward to it. It's different than training with Kolivan or the others.
...flying Black is a little more daunting. But he meant what he said. He's done running. If Shiro winds up needing it, needing him, he wants to be there. Besides, just flying should be painless, right? He's never shied away from jumping into the cockpit of anything, even if this particular cockpit comes with a lot of memories and guilt and baggage. But that's what he needs to deal with if he's ever going to pilot the Black Lion in more than just flight practice.]
That works. It's been a while, so it'll be good to get a feel for it again.
Yeah, definitely. Sounds like fun. ...hope you haven't gone and gotten rusty on me.
[And the opportunity to be a brat wouldn't be passed up apparently, for the moment. Or ever, probably. But he's looking forward to it. It's different than training with Kolivan or the others.
...flying Black is a little more daunting. But he meant what he said. He's done running. If Shiro winds up needing it, needing him, he wants to be there. Besides, just flying should be painless, right? He's never shied away from jumping into the cockpit of anything, even if this particular cockpit comes with a lot of memories and guilt and baggage. But that's what he needs to deal with if he's ever going to pilot the Black Lion in more than just flight practice.]
That works. It's been a while, so it'll be good to get a feel for it again.
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