[He takes a second to catch his breath and laughs, looking at the view screen and readouts.]
I think your bond with Black never faded. When I asked for help finding you I got your exact location. And we teleported directly to you. The second time I've ever used that ability.
[Keith had been running. But now that he's standing his ground his mind races on how to help him ease into this decision.]
...I'm sorry you thought you had to copy how I lead. I should have corrected that. Keith, you can only ever be yourself. You have to find a way that comes naturally to you. [He squeezes his shoulder and smiles. Yes, he's sure Keith can do this. If he has to.] I think if you relax and trust yourself you'll find it.
[With one last squeeze of his shoulder, Shiro sits back down and puts both hands on the controls. He tosses a smile back at him,]
And I'm not going to retire right away. I was thinking more along the lines of what we didn't have time for before. Giving you time to bond with Black and train for that just in case.
What do you think? How this goes is entirely up to you.
[That much comes as a surprise and he ducks his head, murmuring a quiet,] Thanks for the assist.
[He remembers it too well, sitting in the pilot's seat that first time, Shiro gone, and Keith pleading with the Black Lion for it not to be him, because how could he ever fill those shoes. Shiro was always the one to hold them together, and Keith could barely keep himself from tearing apart. And he'd made every mistake, pushed too hard, too far, too fast, which is a metaphor for his whole damn life honestly.
It's still terrifying to think of ever being in that seat again, but just because it scares him, he can't keep running. And besides the smile on Shiro's face is enough for him. After the way the older man had looked, the stress and uncertainty. If he can do this, be there for him, well. He owes Shiro at least that much.
He leans a hip against the pilot's seat and crosses his arms over his chest.] Yeah. Okay. Training. I can do that. I'll have to let Kolivan know I need more time. There have to be missions that'll keep me closer to the castle. [A pause and he adds, casually as he can,] Guess I should check in with my mom too. [Because he has one of those now and it's so damn complicated.]
[He almost plows right into a stray asteroid and just barely skims over it. He looks over his shoulder at Keith with wide eyes.] What??
[Mom. That's not a word he expected to hear. The shock drains away and he eyes his friend with a small amount of wariness. Considering how carefully casual Keith put that, and he knows him well enough, there's got to be a lot of mixed feelings there.] ...That shouldn't be a problem. Kolivan and I have regular talks to pass intel back and forth. I can add my own request to take up some of your time.
[He has idea how to approach the subject of a mother with Keith. That's likely a mutual feeling.]
We found Commander Holt. We sent him back to Earth with messages and the tech he needs to get Earth's defenses up to speed with everyone else.
[Whoa. Keith grabs onto the back of the chair. That... was at least a better reaction than his, Shiro. Honestly. He nods though, at the incredulity of it.]
Kolivan sent me to extract an operative that had been undercover, and... it was... her.
[He's still trying to sort out what he thinks and feels. Rationally, rationally Keith knows she had to make a hard choice, that she must've had her reasons. But the problem with Keith is, ration and reason are all well and good, but he has always been led by his emotions, his mixed up little heart always in the driver's seat.
And that heart is hurt and angry and grew up alone and fully aware he was never good enough for anyone to ever stay. He'd been so adrift. Where would he even be if he'd never met Shiro? But now here's his mother and he wants to get to know her and everything about her but the hurt and the anger won't go away.]
It's complicated.
[But hey. At least Shiro has good news.] Pidge and Matt must be relieved. ...hopefully they never have to use it, but it's good to be prepared.
[The castle looms ahead of them in the distance like a far away star. Shiro tips the controls forward, easing their speed up as he makes his approach. He twists the left lever, putting them Lion into a sharp turn.]
I'm worried they'll have to. The whole universe has seen us Paladins. It doesn't take much math to put things together. Especially to the Galra.
[They still have a little more time before they reach their destination. He draws in a breath and lets it out.]
...Keith. You're both strangers. Of course it's going to be complicated. Do you want to know her?
[It's a good point but not one that is pleasant to consider. Keith's expression presses into a frown.]
If they wanted to force Voltron's hand, it'd be a good play. [Drag the paladins' home planet into it. Hopefully it never came to that. Because even with a leg up on technology building any defense system to be even remotely strong enough to matter would take time. Somehow that always seems to be against them. Keith shakes his head as if to break free of those thoughts. Just more reason to press on, to make sure the Galra didn't reassemble themselves out of the chaos born out of Zarkon's death.
Keith's gaze stays fixed on the screen even as Shiro speaks. Because he doesn't know how to answer that question. Not really.]
Yes.I don't know... she's my mother. I want to know so much. But I'm... she left me, Shiro. Without even... [Without anything but a strange knife and no explanation. And then his father had been gone and. He shakes his head.] Am I supposed to just be okay with that?
I don’t think you’re supposed to. [He looks back at him, searching his face. He can hear the longing in Keith’s voice. It hurts to hear it and he hears it without flinching.]
But are you going to let that stop you from getting what you want? [The hangar looms before them and he automatically slows the Lion. They flow through the curve to the launch pad. He adjusts himself to drop into it.
Once they are settled on it he lets go of the controls. They’re lucky. No one had noticed he’d left. He climbs to his feet and stretches. His back pops and he comes around the side of the chair to lay a hand on Keith’s shoulder.]
Talk to her. Find out her reasons. I’m sure they won’t help make it better but you’ll know them.
Wouldn't be the first time I fucked up something out of spite...
[Keith admits in a decent show of self-awareness, offering a wry twist of a smile up at Shiro. So uh... things got rough at the Garrison after the Kerberos mission disappeared, after they tried to play it off as pilot error. Keith has never been so angry as he was a that, flat out refusing to even consider it. Because there's no way it could have been. Anyway, getting himself expelled hadn't been the best move. He had no idea where to go from there. If he hadn't stumbled into an actual galactic alien war, he'd still be lost. Wandering.
But Shiro's right. Like Shiro usually is. And as that hand falls on his shoulder, Keith ducks his head, grateful for the reassurance. The advice. Hell, grateful for the contact. It takes a pretty good dose of self control not to turn and ambush the older man with a hug.] But you're right. I want to know... why. How. I want to know her.
[He wants a mother, despite how badly he doesn't want to want one, after all the years of dealing on his own.]
...so. Think the others will be surprised to see me?
I think they’ll be mad at me first. This isn’t the first time I rushed off without telling anyone. [Funny how he has fallen into behaviors similar to what he’d snapped at Keith about. He sighs, smile briefly sheepish and steps in close, wrapping an arm around Keith.]
Then happy. You’ve been missed here. A lot more than you know. [He pulls him into the hug he has wanted to give since he saw him again. They’ll figure everything out. Keith’s mother. The Blades. His own growing list of problems. Some how they’ll make it through.]
[That doesn't sound like Shiro, is the thought that goes through Keith's mind. It isn't. The other man is nothing if not controlled. Keith is the impulsive one, the one whose leaps come several days before his looks. And it is concerning. If something is wrong with Shiro, Keith is determined to fix it. All he knows, the one thing that he's entirely certain of, is he will not lose Shiro again. He refuses to even entertain the idea. So they'll work this out, and he's here now.
There's always been a level of trust between them, and some part of Keith likes to think Shiro can rely on him, at least a little. But he's been gone, running like he'd admitted earlier. He's done with that now. If the the other man needs him, Keith wants to be here for that.] Yeah well, speaking selfishly, I'm kinda glad you didn't stop to check in. I'd definitely have been plant food.
[Then that hug comes and Keith falls silent. There's no hesitation as he steps into Shiro, eyes falling shut, arms finding their way around him, falling into the familiar gesture with a rush of relief he doesn't expect, that nearly knocks him from his feet. Kind of feels like coming home.] I missed them too. Even Lance.
They'll understand once I explain it. [They will. Keith is theirs. Any one of them would have rushed to save him. He considers driving home how much he's been missed. Then discards it. Keith has always been one to need visual proof. He'll let them all show him how much he means.]
Come on. I'm still on bridge shift for fifteen more minutes. Then Lance has to do his thirty.
[He doubts Lance will do any posturing to prove he's superior today. Peacock that he can be he's been quieter and more confident. It's enough he'd felt comfortable enough to lean on him a little. Slowly, reluctantly he lets go of Keith and steps back around the chair to head out of the lion.
The systems usually shut down after he does that. Today they stay on, glowing brightly with a flashing dot to indicate where Keith is in space and where Shiro himself off. They only wink out once Keith has seen the data. The Black Lion hasn't forgotten him at all.]
[Shiro knows him too well, Keith thinks. It's a problem, but it's also always been a relief in a way. Sometimes Keith struggles to see things up close, where his greatest insecurities and uncertainties lie. But Shiro has seen the worst of him, and even after this last stretch of distance and tension and what Keith had been so sure was disappointment that couldn't be overcome, the other man still looks at him like he matters, still trusts him enough to rely on him, to open up about the troubles in his own mind. It's more than Keith had hoped for, but then, he's never been the optimistic type.
He straightens a bit as the hug ends -- missing it a little more than he expects, near immediately, but maybe that's not surprising. Shiro is really the only one he's ever had or even sought out that easy physical affection with. He'd missed it, missed him. But for the moment at least he's back, close instead of throwing himself to the edges of this galaxy and chasing things he's already found.]
So a few more minutes of peace and quiet, huh?
[Before the others filter in. He nods to himself, half starting to follow Shiro, but he stops half a step from the chair. His eyes catch the still lit display, the two little points of light highlighted there. A smile finds his lips and he ducks his head.] Thanks... [An affectionate clap of his hand against the top of the pilot's chair and he moves to follow Shiro off, hands on his hips as he makes it into the hangar.]
It's good to be back. Kinda weird. But good.
No it's cool. I laughed for a good five minutes. I'm focusedroar!
[The lion draws itself up and Shiro laughs. He can tell at a glance that Keith has been hammered into a better fighter than he had been. He moves well, light and almost soundless.]
That's right, few more minutes. Then I'll have to explain everything. But, when I get you alone I want to see all you learned out there.
[He hasn't had a good spar since Keith left. Lance is learning blades. Allura can pace herself but it's not the same as fist to fist, sword to sword arm. The gladiator robots don't compare to a living and breathing opponent. ...and his mind always skitters away from asking Lotor for reasons he doesn't understand. Or question.]
If things are still quiet tomorrow...want to have your first flight in Black? There's a few good areas around here that would perfect for you to get used to how it handles compared to Red or any other fighter you've been using.
Oh! Well then you're the reason I was logged in as Krolia to begin with Haha it's a small RP world
[Working with the Blade did come with the "benefit" of having his ass handed to him by aliens nearly twice his size on a regular basis, in the name of "training." But it has paid off. Some of his rougher edges have been refined, technique rather than all instinct -- though Keith would likely always be driven more by the latter than anything else. He stops beside Shiro, smiling -- excited about the prospect of getting Shiro on the training deck again, and honestly just pleased to hear that laugh.]
Yeah, definitely. Sounds like fun. ...hope you haven't gone and gotten rusty on me.
[And the opportunity to be a brat wouldn't be passed up apparently, for the moment. Or ever, probably. But he's looking forward to it. It's different than training with Kolivan or the others.
...flying Black is a little more daunting. But he meant what he said. He's done running. If Shiro winds up needing it, needing him, he wants to be there. Besides, just flying should be painless, right? He's never shied away from jumping into the cockpit of anything, even if this particular cockpit comes with a lot of memories and guilt and baggage. But that's what he needs to deal with if he's ever going to pilot the Black Lion in more than just flight practice.]
That works. It's been a while, so it'll be good to get a feel for it again.
It really is. I like your Krolia a lot by the way!
And you won't be alone. [Shiro finishes for him as he starts for the elevator that will take them up to the bridge. He knows from Allura that Keith had never wanted to sit in Black for longer than necessary. He couldn't bond with the Lion because of the loss he'd been suffering through. It makes him feel guilty he ever got lost.
He follows his words up with a tease as he hits the call button, looking over his shoulder with a half-wry smile on his face.]
And you better have not gotten too jump happy. I warned you how that will cost you. [Once you're in the air you can't really change direction or alter your course. Not without a jet pack. It has always been a really fun moment in training to see where Keith takes his criticisms. Usually in some way he'll find a way to prove him wrong.]
[Keith actually freezes mid-step at those words. A brief moment before he quickens his pace to catch up with Shiro. Not alone... he thinks it'll make a difference. It's true. After the Black Lion had chosen him, despite Keith outright pleading for it not to happen, he hadn't known what to do. It still felt like giving up on Shiro, like betraying him somehow, like somehow it meant they didn't need him -- when the truth was and is, Keith has always needed him. He'd kept the lion at arm's length, like he's so good at keeping nearly everyone, really.]
Right.
[Maybe it can be different this time, without the backdrop of those circumstances as a place to start, working with Shiro instead.
Then Shiro talks again and Keith is pulled from heavier thoughts in favor of giving him a look, eyebrows lifted.]
Hey. Not jump happy, But I still say it comes in handy. Galra sentries' centers of gravity are too high not to.
[A jolt of electricity rides through him when Keith's eyebrows lift. Or that's how it feels. His grin turns just a hair wilder than he'd meant it to. He steps into the lift and turns to face him with one eyebrow lifted.]
Living opponents will take advantage of those leaps. [He's goading him and he knows it. It's like saying 'bring it'. Shiro breathes in, dialing back the thrill singing in his veins. Later. Later they'll collide like two meteors on a collision course.]
But, I'll see how you counter that. And no, I haven't been idle. The Coalition sometime ask me to help train soldiers and there's always sparring with the rest of the team. Just none of them fight as up close and personal as you do.
[He pauses and a touch embarrassed, adds hastily.] It's game over if Allura gets close to you.
[Keith rises to the challenge, to the goading, exactly as Shiro must expect him to. There's a light in violet eyes, excited at the prospect of going a few rounds in the training deck with Shiro, of course, but more than that, seeing the look on Shiro's face, the fact that they're falling back into familiar patterns, that they still have this.
Something in Keith lights up around Shiro, like it doesn't around anyone else, drawn into the magnetism of the older man. Always has been.]
Living opponents have to catch me first.
[He's cocky -- the things he's confident in, he's confident. Though he's looking at Shiro now as he continues, laughing, oddly thrilled by it.] So you really have missed me, huh?
[He keys the lift to rise and the doors slide shut. His voice turns softer, more personal.] Yes. Yes, I have.
[The thrill is still there but behind it is a warm affection for his younger friend. He reaches out and grips his shoulder again. This is truly the best he's felt in days...weeks? It's difficult to fathom time out here.
He chuckles quietly.]
Well. This living opponent will have to see if he can catch you. I'm willing to bet that's a yes. But we'll see.
[Keith had been teasing, deliberately bratty, if only because that reaction is easier than thinking too hard about Shiro's words. And then Shiro comes back with that softer tone, with that sincere and plain agreement, and Keith falls quiet. He takes a moment to wrestle with the warmth spreading out through his chest, looking back to Shiro as that hand falls to his shoulder.
A smile, an honestly rare and genuine little thing, finds its way over his lips, replaced a moment later by a cockier twist of a smirk.]
We'll definitely see. You might be surprised. [He's posturing, but he means it too. The Blade and their training have been fairly merciless, but Keith can't argue with the results. A pause and he adds, quieter.] I've really missed you too.
[He steps closer and gently tugs Keith into another hug. It’s been so long since he could that even a second hug just isn’t enough. He lets go as the lift doors open. Beyond them the scan is still running, compiling data and displaying it. The maintence checks he had been doing before were left half finished.
A datapad lays discarded by his chair. It’s a bit chaotic and a testament to how he up and left with no warning to rush to Keith’s aid. He coughs with a little embarrassment.] You didn’t seem to have enough time for me to do anything but come after you.
[He enters the bridge and picks up the pad, using it to clear the scan. He brings back up the maps of the quadrant and maitence checks he needs to complete. Yet he sets it back down in his chair and turns to Keith.]
Kolivan only ever told me about your progress as a Blade. Never about how you’re doing directly. I...tried to figure that out whenever we were discussing joint operations and you were on the screen too.
[There isn't even a scrap of hesitation. Shiro pulls him close and Keith moves to hug him back, melting into the embrace, into Shiro, and all the words he expect he'll never say out loud. Maybe it's obvious how much he's missed this, needed this, and not only because any sort of affection is something that is entirely missing from his interactions with the Blade.
He's almost disappointed when the doors open, but he straightens up and follows Shiro onto the bridge, looking at the scattered chaos. Oh. He'd scared him, hadn't he?] Guess I kind of had you drop everything, huh?
[Oops. But he's more than grateful. If Shiro hadn't arrived when he did, Keith doesn't know if he'd have made it in the end. He hesitates before looking back to the taller man as he speaks.]
Yeah. Kolivan's all shop talk, all the time. [But. Well.] I was okay. Got scolded a lot about my emotions being a liability, about not going back for the others who didn't make it out, about the mission being the first and only priority.
[Keith understands it. The Blade of Marmora stood virtually alone against the Galra empire for millennia, a small fringe barely hanging on to existence, doing whatever they could. Emotions and attachments were a luxury beyond what they could afford. But understanding it or not, he's not great at that detachment.]
Sounds like a lot to adjust to. [He says at last as he clears little bits of the chaos. Last thing any of them need is more chaos in their lives. He sets a check of the engines and what essence of Allura's life force is left in the system to run as he pads back to Keith's side. Right now he doesn't want to be far from him.]
...The way Voltron operates and the way the Blades have has always been different. We need our emotions. It's how the bond between us and in turn the Lions work.
[He looks up watching the data scroll up for a long moment and turns back to him.]
He still sent you out on solo missions. You don't do that with an operative you can't trust to succeed.
[Keith admits. He'll protest to Kolivan over and over that he won't let his emotions get in the way, but. He also knows if any of the paladins needed him, if they were in danger, if he could do anything to help them -- or his mother, for that matter, or Kolivan himself, Keith can't see himself turning his back on any of them even for the good of the mission. Look what happened at the Kral Zera. Shiro showed up and Keith immediately tossed the mission out the window.
No need to bring that up though. Instead he shifts that much closer to the other man as well; there's something comforting about his presence. That's not new, just... something he missed.]
I think Kolivan is good enough at knowing what people are capable of. It wasn't an accident he sent me to retrieve my mother. I got a particularly clear "emotions are a luxury we can't afford" talk before that mission. And then Krolia's the one who broke that rule. She should've let them kill me.
[For a second he isn't sure he heard him. Then the words register. He turns them over in his head and sets the pad down on a chair. He makes sure he set it where it won't fall off the console he left it on.
Shiro studies him with a neutral expression that's difficult to read. Like someone thinking over a question that deserves a great deal of thought. He's not surprised that Keith came to that conclusion. The Blade are about sacrifice. Too much in his opinion. Keith has always been self sacrificing. Willing to throw himself into the path of fire for the sake of others.
This is a dangerous precipice he's on and he's not sure how to guide him away from it.]
If it were the reverse, would you have let her die? Even if you didn't know who she was? [He knows the answer. But it isn't about what he knows.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I think your bond with Black never faded. When I asked for help finding you I got your exact location. And we teleported directly to you. The second time I've ever used that ability.
[Keith had been running. But now that he's standing his ground his mind races on how to help him ease into this decision.]
...I'm sorry you thought you had to copy how I lead. I should have corrected that. Keith, you can only ever be yourself. You have to find a way that comes naturally to you. [He squeezes his shoulder and smiles. Yes, he's sure Keith can do this. If he has to.] I think if you relax and trust yourself you'll find it.
[With one last squeeze of his shoulder, Shiro sits back down and puts both hands on the controls. He tosses a smile back at him,]
And I'm not going to retire right away. I was thinking more along the lines of what we didn't have time for before. Giving you time to bond with Black and train for that just in case.
What do you think? How this goes is entirely up to you.
no subject
[He remembers it too well, sitting in the pilot's seat that first time, Shiro gone, and Keith pleading with the Black Lion for it not to be him, because how could he ever fill those shoes. Shiro was always the one to hold them together, and Keith could barely keep himself from tearing apart. And he'd made every mistake, pushed too hard, too far, too fast, which is a metaphor for his whole damn life honestly.
It's still terrifying to think of ever being in that seat again, but just because it scares him, he can't keep running. And besides the smile on Shiro's face is enough for him. After the way the older man had looked, the stress and uncertainty. If he can do this, be there for him, well. He owes Shiro at least that much.
He leans a hip against the pilot's seat and crosses his arms over his chest.] Yeah. Okay. Training. I can do that. I'll have to let Kolivan know I need more time. There have to be missions that'll keep me closer to the castle. [A pause and he adds, casually as he can,] Guess I should check in with my mom too. [Because he has one of those now and it's so damn complicated.]
no subject
[Mom. That's not a word he expected to hear. The shock drains away and he eyes his friend with a small amount of wariness. Considering how carefully casual Keith put that, and he knows him well enough, there's got to be a lot of mixed feelings there.] ...That shouldn't be a problem. Kolivan and I have regular talks to pass intel back and forth. I can add my own request to take up some of your time.
[He has idea how to approach the subject of a mother with Keith. That's likely a mutual feeling.]
We found Commander Holt. We sent him back to Earth with messages and the tech he needs to get Earth's defenses up to speed with everyone else.
no subject
Kolivan sent me to extract an operative that had been undercover, and... it was... her.
[He's still trying to sort out what he thinks and feels. Rationally, rationally Keith knows she had to make a hard choice, that she must've had her reasons. But the problem with Keith is, ration and reason are all well and good, but he has always been led by his emotions, his mixed up little heart always in the driver's seat.
And that heart is hurt and angry and grew up alone and fully aware he was never good enough for anyone to ever stay. He'd been so adrift. Where would he even be if he'd never met Shiro? But now here's his mother and he wants to get to know her and everything about her but the hurt and the anger won't go away.]
It's complicated.
[But hey. At least Shiro has good news.] Pidge and Matt must be relieved. ...hopefully they never have to use it, but it's good to be prepared.
no subject
I'm worried they'll have to. The whole universe has seen us Paladins. It doesn't take much math to put things together. Especially to the Galra.
[They still have a little more time before they reach their destination. He draws in a breath and lets it out.]
...Keith. You're both strangers. Of course it's going to be complicated. Do you want to know her?
no subject
If they wanted to force Voltron's hand, it'd be a good play. [Drag the paladins' home planet into it. Hopefully it never came to that. Because even with a leg up on technology building any defense system to be even remotely strong enough to matter would take time. Somehow that always seems to be against them. Keith shakes his head as if to break free of those thoughts. Just more reason to press on, to make sure the Galra didn't reassemble themselves out of the chaos born out of Zarkon's death.
Keith's gaze stays fixed on the screen even as Shiro speaks. Because he doesn't know how to answer that question. Not really.]
Yes.I don't know... she's my mother. I want to know so much. But I'm... she left me, Shiro. Without even... [Without anything but a strange knife and no explanation. And then his father had been gone and. He shakes his head.] Am I supposed to just be okay with that?
no subject
But are you going to let that stop you from getting what you want? [The hangar looms before them and he automatically slows the Lion. They flow through the curve to the launch pad. He adjusts himself to drop into it.
Once they are settled on it he lets go of the controls. They’re lucky. No one had noticed he’d left. He climbs to his feet and stretches. His back pops and he comes around the side of the chair to lay a hand on Keith’s shoulder.]
Talk to her. Find out her reasons. I’m sure they won’t help make it better but you’ll know them.
no subject
Wouldn't be the first time I fucked up something out of spite...
[Keith admits in a decent show of self-awareness, offering a wry twist of a smile up at Shiro. So uh... things got rough at the Garrison after the Kerberos mission disappeared, after they tried to play it off as pilot error. Keith has never been so angry as he was a that, flat out refusing to even consider it. Because there's no way it could have been. Anyway, getting himself expelled hadn't been the best move. He had no idea where to go from there. If he hadn't stumbled into an actual galactic alien war, he'd still be lost. Wandering.
But Shiro's right. Like Shiro usually is. And as that hand falls on his shoulder, Keith ducks his head, grateful for the reassurance. The advice. Hell, grateful for the contact. It takes a pretty good dose of self control not to turn and ambush the older man with a hug.] But you're right. I want to know... why. How. I want to know her.
[He wants a mother, despite how badly he doesn't want to want one, after all the years of dealing on his own.]
...so. Think the others will be surprised to see me?
no subject
Then happy. You’ve been missed here. A lot more than you know. [He pulls him into the hug he has wanted to give since he saw him again. They’ll figure everything out. Keith’s mother. The Blades. His own growing list of problems. Some how they’ll make it through.]
no subject
[That doesn't sound like Shiro, is the thought that goes through Keith's mind. It isn't. The other man is nothing if not controlled. Keith is the impulsive one, the one whose leaps come several days before his looks. And it is concerning. If something is wrong with Shiro, Keith is determined to fix it. All he knows, the one thing that he's entirely certain of, is he will not lose Shiro again. He refuses to even entertain the idea. So they'll work this out, and he's here now.
There's always been a level of trust between them, and some part of Keith likes to think Shiro can rely on him, at least a little. But he's been gone, running like he'd admitted earlier. He's done with that now. If the the other man needs him, Keith wants to be here for that.] Yeah well, speaking selfishly, I'm kinda glad you didn't stop to check in. I'd definitely have been plant food.
[Then that hug comes and Keith falls silent. There's no hesitation as he steps into Shiro, eyes falling shut, arms finding their way around him, falling into the familiar gesture with a rush of relief he doesn't expect, that nearly knocks him from his feet. Kind of feels like coming home.] I missed them too. Even Lance.
[Grudgingly.]
no subject
Come on. I'm still on bridge shift for fifteen more minutes. Then Lance has to do his thirty.
[He doubts Lance will do any posturing to prove he's superior today. Peacock that he can be he's been quieter and more confident. It's enough he'd felt comfortable enough to lean on him a little. Slowly, reluctantly he lets go of Keith and steps back around the chair to head out of the lion.
The systems usually shut down after he does that. Today they stay on, glowing brightly with a flashing dot to indicate where Keith is in space and where Shiro himself off. They only wink out once Keith has seen the data. The Black Lion hasn't forgotten him at all.]
ignore the journal fail there sorry!
He straightens a bit as the hug ends -- missing it a little more than he expects, near immediately, but maybe that's not surprising. Shiro is really the only one he's ever had or even sought out that easy physical affection with. He'd missed it, missed him. But for the moment at least he's back, close instead of throwing himself to the edges of this galaxy and chasing things he's already found.]
So a few more minutes of peace and quiet, huh?
[Before the others filter in. He nods to himself, half starting to follow Shiro, but he stops half a step from the chair. His eyes catch the still lit display, the two little points of light highlighted there. A smile finds his lips and he ducks his head.] Thanks... [An affectionate clap of his hand against the top of the pilot's chair and he moves to follow Shiro off, hands on his hips as he makes it into the hangar.]
It's good to be back. Kinda weird. But good.
No it's cool. I laughed for a good five minutes. I'm focusedroar!
That's right, few more minutes. Then I'll have to explain everything. But, when I get you alone I want to see all you learned out there.
[He hasn't had a good spar since Keith left. Lance is learning blades. Allura can pace herself but it's not the same as fist to fist, sword to sword arm. The gladiator robots don't compare to a living and breathing opponent. ...and his mind always skitters away from asking Lotor for reasons he doesn't understand. Or question.]
If things are still quiet tomorrow...want to have your first flight in Black? There's a few good areas around here that would perfect for you to get used to how it handles compared to Red or any other fighter you've been using.
Oh! Well then you're the reason I was logged in as Krolia to begin with Haha it's a small RP world
Yeah, definitely. Sounds like fun. ...hope you haven't gone and gotten rusty on me.
[And the opportunity to be a brat wouldn't be passed up apparently, for the moment. Or ever, probably. But he's looking forward to it. It's different than training with Kolivan or the others.
...flying Black is a little more daunting. But he meant what he said. He's done running. If Shiro winds up needing it, needing him, he wants to be there. Besides, just flying should be painless, right? He's never shied away from jumping into the cockpit of anything, even if this particular cockpit comes with a lot of memories and guilt and baggage. But that's what he needs to deal with if he's ever going to pilot the Black Lion in more than just flight practice.]
That works. It's been a while, so it'll be good to get a feel for it again.
It really is. I like your Krolia a lot by the way!
He follows his words up with a tease as he hits the call button, looking over his shoulder with a half-wry smile on his face.]
And you better have not gotten too jump happy. I warned you how that will cost you. [Once you're in the air you can't really change direction or alter your course. Not without a jet pack. It has always been a really fun moment in training to see where Keith takes his criticisms. Usually in some way he'll find a way to prove him wrong.]
thank you!! your keith is also lovely btw :D
Right.
[Maybe it can be different this time, without the backdrop of those circumstances as a place to start, working with Shiro instead.
Then Shiro talks again and Keith is pulled from heavier thoughts in favor of giving him a look, eyebrows lifted.]
Hey. Not jump happy, But I still say it comes in handy. Galra sentries' centers of gravity are too high not to.
[Don't make him demonstrate on you, Mister.]
Aw thank you!
Living opponents will take advantage of those leaps. [He's goading him and he knows it. It's like saying 'bring it'. Shiro breathes in, dialing back the thrill singing in his veins. Later. Later they'll collide like two meteors on a collision course.]
But, I'll see how you counter that. And no, I haven't been idle. The Coalition sometime ask me to help train soldiers and there's always sparring with the rest of the team. Just none of them fight as up close and personal as you do.
[He pauses and a touch embarrassed, adds hastily.] It's game over if Allura gets close to you.
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Something in Keith lights up around Shiro, like it doesn't around anyone else, drawn into the magnetism of the older man. Always has been.]
Living opponents have to catch me first.
[He's cocky -- the things he's confident in, he's confident. Though he's looking at Shiro now as he continues, laughing, oddly thrilled by it.] So you really have missed me, huh?
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[The thrill is still there but behind it is a warm affection for his younger friend. He reaches out and grips his shoulder again. This is truly the best he's felt in days...weeks? It's difficult to fathom time out here.
He chuckles quietly.]
Well. This living opponent will have to see if he can catch you. I'm willing to bet that's a yes. But we'll see.
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[Keith had been teasing, deliberately bratty, if only because that reaction is easier than thinking too hard about Shiro's words. And then Shiro comes back with that softer tone, with that sincere and plain agreement, and Keith falls quiet. He takes a moment to wrestle with the warmth spreading out through his chest, looking back to Shiro as that hand falls to his shoulder.
A smile, an honestly rare and genuine little thing, finds its way over his lips, replaced a moment later by a cockier twist of a smirk.]
We'll definitely see. You might be surprised. [He's posturing, but he means it too. The Blade and their training have been fairly merciless, but Keith can't argue with the results. A pause and he adds, quieter.] I've really missed you too.
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A datapad lays discarded by his chair. It’s a bit chaotic and a testament to how he up and left with no warning to rush to Keith’s aid. He coughs with a little embarrassment.] You didn’t seem to have enough time for me to do anything but come after you.
[He enters the bridge and picks up the pad, using it to clear the scan. He brings back up the maps of the quadrant and maitence checks he needs to complete. Yet he sets it back down in his chair and turns to Keith.]
Kolivan only ever told me about your progress as a Blade. Never about how you’re doing directly. I...tried to figure that out whenever we were discussing joint operations and you were on the screen too.
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He's almost disappointed when the doors open, but he straightens up and follows Shiro onto the bridge, looking at the scattered chaos. Oh. He'd scared him, hadn't he?] Guess I kind of had you drop everything, huh?
[Oops. But he's more than grateful. If Shiro hadn't arrived when he did, Keith doesn't know if he'd have made it in the end. He hesitates before looking back to the taller man as he speaks.]
Yeah. Kolivan's all shop talk, all the time. [But. Well.] I was okay. Got scolded a lot about my emotions being a liability, about not going back for the others who didn't make it out, about the mission being the first and only priority.
[Keith understands it. The Blade of Marmora stood virtually alone against the Galra empire for millennia, a small fringe barely hanging on to existence, doing whatever they could. Emotions and attachments were a luxury beyond what they could afford. But understanding it or not, he's not great at that detachment.]
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...The way Voltron operates and the way the Blades have has always been different. We need our emotions. It's how the bond between us and in turn the Lions work.
[He looks up watching the data scroll up for a long moment and turns back to him.]
He still sent you out on solo missions. You don't do that with an operative you can't trust to succeed.
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[Keith admits. He'll protest to Kolivan over and over that he won't let his emotions get in the way, but. He also knows if any of the paladins needed him, if they were in danger, if he could do anything to help them -- or his mother, for that matter, or Kolivan himself, Keith can't see himself turning his back on any of them even for the good of the mission. Look what happened at the Kral Zera. Shiro showed up and Keith immediately tossed the mission out the window.
No need to bring that up though. Instead he shifts that much closer to the other man as well; there's something comforting about his presence. That's not new, just... something he missed.]
I think Kolivan is good enough at knowing what people are capable of. It wasn't an accident he sent me to retrieve my mother. I got a particularly clear "emotions are a luxury we can't afford" talk before that mission. And then Krolia's the one who broke that rule. She should've let them kill me.
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Shiro studies him with a neutral expression that's difficult to read. Like someone thinking over a question that deserves a great deal of thought. He's not surprised that Keith came to that conclusion. The Blade are about sacrifice. Too much in his opinion. Keith has always been self sacrificing. Willing to throw himself into the path of fire for the sake of others.
This is a dangerous precipice he's on and he's not sure how to guide him away from it.]
If it were the reverse, would you have let her die? Even if you didn't know who she was? [He knows the answer. But it isn't about what he knows.]
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*myth not myst. Alteans did not have Myst games
If it was Myst, they'd definitely be dead, and Allura would still be stuck in the rocket ship
The horrible part is I could see it.
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