[There isn't even a scrap of hesitation. Shiro pulls him close and Keith moves to hug him back, melting into the embrace, into Shiro, and all the words he expect he'll never say out loud. Maybe it's obvious how much he's missed this, needed this, and not only because any sort of affection is something that is entirely missing from his interactions with the Blade.
He's almost disappointed when the doors open, but he straightens up and follows Shiro onto the bridge, looking at the scattered chaos. Oh. He'd scared him, hadn't he?] Guess I kind of had you drop everything, huh?
[Oops. But he's more than grateful. If Shiro hadn't arrived when he did, Keith doesn't know if he'd have made it in the end. He hesitates before looking back to the taller man as he speaks.]
Yeah. Kolivan's all shop talk, all the time. [But. Well.] I was okay. Got scolded a lot about my emotions being a liability, about not going back for the others who didn't make it out, about the mission being the first and only priority.
[Keith understands it. The Blade of Marmora stood virtually alone against the Galra empire for millennia, a small fringe barely hanging on to existence, doing whatever they could. Emotions and attachments were a luxury beyond what they could afford. But understanding it or not, he's not great at that detachment.]
Sounds like a lot to adjust to. [He says at last as he clears little bits of the chaos. Last thing any of them need is more chaos in their lives. He sets a check of the engines and what essence of Allura's life force is left in the system to run as he pads back to Keith's side. Right now he doesn't want to be far from him.]
...The way Voltron operates and the way the Blades have has always been different. We need our emotions. It's how the bond between us and in turn the Lions work.
[He looks up watching the data scroll up for a long moment and turns back to him.]
He still sent you out on solo missions. You don't do that with an operative you can't trust to succeed.
[Keith admits. He'll protest to Kolivan over and over that he won't let his emotions get in the way, but. He also knows if any of the paladins needed him, if they were in danger, if he could do anything to help them -- or his mother, for that matter, or Kolivan himself, Keith can't see himself turning his back on any of them even for the good of the mission. Look what happened at the Kral Zera. Shiro showed up and Keith immediately tossed the mission out the window.
No need to bring that up though. Instead he shifts that much closer to the other man as well; there's something comforting about his presence. That's not new, just... something he missed.]
I think Kolivan is good enough at knowing what people are capable of. It wasn't an accident he sent me to retrieve my mother. I got a particularly clear "emotions are a luxury we can't afford" talk before that mission. And then Krolia's the one who broke that rule. She should've let them kill me.
[For a second he isn't sure he heard him. Then the words register. He turns them over in his head and sets the pad down on a chair. He makes sure he set it where it won't fall off the console he left it on.
Shiro studies him with a neutral expression that's difficult to read. Like someone thinking over a question that deserves a great deal of thought. He's not surprised that Keith came to that conclusion. The Blade are about sacrifice. Too much in his opinion. Keith has always been self sacrificing. Willing to throw himself into the path of fire for the sake of others.
This is a dangerous precipice he's on and he's not sure how to guide him away from it.]
If it were the reverse, would you have let her die? Even if you didn't know who she was? [He knows the answer. But it isn't about what he knows.]
[Keith... doesn't particularly like that expression on Shiro's face. It is too hard to read, but he gets the distinct feeling the Black Paladin is reading him like a book. Because Shiro has always been able to do that, sees through the walls and defenses and everything that Keith surrounds himself with like they weren't even there to begin with.
He shifts his weight from one foot to another, hesitating at the question.]
My mission was to get her out... [That's partially true. Keeping the super weapon out of anyone's hands was first and foremost. But...] ...but no. I wouldn't have left without her, even if I didn't know who she was at the time.
[He leans against the console, one hand on it and waits until Keith is finished. This is the hardest part of guiding anyone he really cares about. Watching them work it out for themselves. But Keith needs this. But his expression softens into something a little sad. He makes sure his voice is calm and gentle.]
Teams don't work based on who is the most expendable, Keith. We all help each other and find a new path through that would have been unlikely if we'd been on our own. If she'd let you die, what would that have really accomplished?
You'd just be gone. Maybe for the Blades...that kind of reasoning is wrong. But not here. And not to you. That's never been who you were.
You always find new ways to make it through and bring everyone home.
[It is a different world from the way the Blade of Marmora operates. And half of him might have wondered if it were the difference between human and Galra, but that doesn't seem right either, not after Krolia risked so much for his sake. Whatever the reason, the difference is clear.
And there are parts of Keith that want to argue, reflexively want push back because in many ways it's easier if his life doesn't matter, but he's starting to wonder if there aren't people who need him after all, somehow.
He ducks his head.] You make it really hard to argue with you sometimes, you know. It's pretty annoying. [But he peeks up at Shiro with a smile.]
[He smiles, and spreads his hands apart. They've backed away from that potentially terrible cliff. For now. It will take time but maybe, Keith will come to see he's right.] What can I say? You're worth arguing with.
[He picks up the datapad and finishes the check, swiping to the next one with a flick of his fingers.]
And trusting with my back. Just as you trust me with yours.
[Keith falls quiet now. He wonders if Shiro really understands how much those things mean to him. How much it means to hear that someone thinks he's worth something. That Shiro trusts him. It's not something he's ever heard from anyone else, and sometimes he doesn't understand how someone like Shiro can actually think those things about him.
He meant what he'd told Shiro, what feels like such a long time ago, that his life would have been so different if he never met him. Shiro is the only one who's never given up on him. And it hits Keith hard just how much he's missed him, how much he's worried that somehow he'd lost that.
Keith doesn't answer, just walks up behind Shiro and tips forward, leaning his forehead against Shiro's back, between his shoulder blades, armor or not, arms wrapping around him from behind. Just. Give him a minute here, Shiro.]
[His hands still on the datapad. Shiro shuts his eyes and lets them both have this quiet moment. One hand drifts to touch where Keith's arms are wrapped around him. His hand drifts down until it closes over his.
He'd missed this. It had been so hard to let him go but Keith had told him what he'd needed at the time. He has a feeling that has changed for both of them. The mistakes he's made have taught him how to be better. Hopefully Keith and the team can benefit from his realizations.
It doesn't feel as insurmountable or confusing as it did when he got up that morning. He sets the pad down again, letting it automate the checks. Normally he does it manually.
Normally he does this alone. He breathes in deep.]
Remember, whenever you need me. I'm here. ...and thank you, for being there when I need you. I can't tell you how much that means to me.
[It had been what he needed at the time, even if all along Keith is pretty sure it'd been running -- from conflict, from his own inadequacies and insecurities, running towards thing he didn't know about himself but thought maybe he could somehow find out. And he doesn't regret going with the Blade, learning the things he's learned. Maybe he's grown a little, enough to actually stand and face the things he needs to.
The hand that settles over his makes something ache in his chest, something warm and unspoken, and even if his face is currently hidden (or maybe because it is) he smiles.]
You've always been there for me, Shiro, when no one else has.
[The single, stable point in his universe.]
And I-- [The words stick in his throat, and a moment later he exhales a laugh, reluctantly he unwinds his arms from around him and steps around to face him.] Thanks.
[It's like gravity the way he's caught in Keith's orbit. He could be flying unsteadily and there he is, correcting his course. It's a kind of peace he hadn't recognized on Earth when they'd been friends and not teammates and comrades.
He'd seen the potential sleeping deep inside and now...He faces him and really looks at him, smile warm and real.]
Any time. When everyone else gave up you... [He ducks his head and laughs quietly to himself.]
...no. [Shiro shakes his head and looks him in the eye. He steps forward and lets instinct guide him, setting one hand on Keith's shoulder and letting every wall down to let see what he probably already could. He's so tired, but there's hope and affection in his eyes.]
Welcome home. The circumstances aren't ideal...but, I think everything will turn out okay, somehow. For both of us.
[It isn't fair for Shiro to smile at him that way. Not even remotely fair because it catches Keith's heart in his chest and he almost has to look away. But he won't. He doesn't want to, doesn't want to waste a second.
That hand lands on his shoulder and he meets Shiro's gaze, and he sees that tiredness, he does, but he sees everything else there too. And whatever it takes, he... he wants to be here. For Shiro. He wants to be with him, wants to take some of the weight on his shoulders from him.]
It will. I think... I think I really believe that. It's good to be home.
[His smile remains and his hand shifts, brushing Keith's hair out of his face as he draws back and sits down in his chair.] It wouldn't be fair not to tell you how we've been.
[The warmth hasn't left the room and he isn't about to force it out. It seems to be helping both of them.]
I know you've been right there when we listed technical details or plans, and when we gave you locations Lotor turned over....but our work has been about the same. Flying missions, taking out targets, and assisting the rebel forces. ...except Allura found something vital.
I'm not sure just what it means yet. But, she is now an Altean Alchemist just like her father was.
[There's a moment where Keith turns into that touch through his hair without thinking, like he's drawn to it like some affection starved, well, him. And maybe he is, or maybe it's because it's Shiro and Keith has always been on the verge of chasing something more there, and maybe he knows full well that he shouldn't be. Shiro has already given him so much, is already so important in his life, that he doesn't have any right to ask for more, doesn't want to do anything to risk what's already there. And yet, for just a moment it's hard to hide that longing before Keith seems to realize it and turns his gaze pointedly to one of the displays.
It's too precious, what they have between them, and he almost broke it already, with the way things had been going. He couldn't live with himself if he drove Shiro off. Like he's done with everyone else in his life.
So Keith moves to lean a hip against a console, listening as Shiro speaks.]
That's how he was able to make the Lions in the first place, right? That's incredible... how'd she manage that?
It was...Lotor's research that started it. [Despite himself he shifts in the chair so they're not that far apart. It hadn't been there at first but over the time he's known Keith there's been something just beyond their friendship. It hadn't been noticeable at first but after seeing him face his trial and seeing himself give up on Keith.
He'd started noticing it consciously. Being away from Keith for so long makes it all too clear. His breath had caught when Keith had turned into his touch. He shouldn't chase that feeling. But he leans on the console cutting more of the distance between them, his arm resting near Keith's hip.]
There's an old Altean myst about a mystical land...and through his research and Allura finding a special stone among Haggar's research materials...we found it.
[He shifts, leaning a bit into Keith as he uses his right hand to bring up the images and video of the white hole and its guardian. He shouldn't be so affection starved. It puts a lot on Keith when he's already asking so much of him. But it's like being a moth attracted to the flames.]
It's called Oriande. Only worthy Alteans can pass the guardian. It disabled the ship and Voltron. If Allura hadn't been found worthy... [He trails off, unsure if he should finish and shakes his head.] The important part is she was able to succeed and restore both.
[Lotor's research and Haggar's research. Keith isn't sure he likes the sound of either of those, and especially finds an uneasy feeling twisting in him at the thought of the combination. But Allura knows what she's doing, right? She must. So he'll take some comfort from that thought at least.
He notices Shiro leaning closer. Of course he does. He's aware of the other in a way he's never been with anyone else, like some magnetic pull between them keeps some internal compass always aligned when they're close. Never mind when Shiro actually leans into him, and Keith is sure even that incidental touch burns.]
...if she hadn't, you wouldn't have made it. Any of you.
[It's a chilling thought, to hear they'd come that close -- which is strange. They all risk their lives every day in this war. But to know concretely that he'd almost lost them all, almost lost Shiro, and he hadn't even known, it makes his chest feel too tight, a sharp shatter of feeling.
He reaches over, fingertips moving carefully through that shock of white hair, brushing it back, touch lingering so much longer than it ought to. He can't imagine never seeing him again, never hearing his voice. Never having told him... but no. Shiro is alive. His heart refuses to even entertain the idea of Shiro being gone for good, recoils painfully from it.]
Keith... [It's his turn to turn into the touch, pressing into it more than he should. But he hasn't seen him in so long. Knowing he could have lost him on that planet... It's a fight with himself not to say something.
Losing Keith would have ended him. He'd have never been the same from that moment on. The thought had made him act and here and now. He lifts his head, meeting his eyes.]
It didn't happen. We're all here. [Every touch feels like it settles something into place that he wasn't aware he needed.]
And I didn't lose you today, either. We'll all see tomorrow together.
If it was Myst, they'd definitely be dead, and Allura would still be stuck in the rocket ship
[Shiro turning into his touch does nothing to dissuade Keith from letting his fingers linger. He shouldn't, but he does, fascinated and unable or maybe just completely unwilling to drop his hand and look away and let the subject change, let the moment pass.
Instead his hand moves down, over his cheek, thumb tracing the line of that strong jaw. And he's definitely overstepping here, but it's so hard to care in the moment. They're all here. Shiro is right about that. As close as they've come, too many times really, here they are, both living and breathing and it takes all the willpower Keith has (which honestly; he's not the best at controlling his impulses, it's an impressive feat he's made it this far) not to just invite himself into Shiro's lap.]
Yeah. We're here.
[Alive and breathing and sharing the same space for the first time in forever. It's more reason for hope than he's had in quite a while. And maybe he doesn't deserve to be here just yet, but here he is, and Shiro needs him, and that's more than enough reason to stay. ...that and the fact that, deserving or not, he wants to be right here.]
[He has enough sense left to realize Keith needs to touch him as much as he needs to have that connection. They should talk about it. Shiro tips his head back to invite Keith to explore and that's when his common sense kicks him hard enough he reaches out and catches Keith's hand.]
Hey, Keith. [He could put a stop to this right now. But he doesn't want to. Now that he's aware that the feelings are mutual. His resistance is thinning down to nothing. He meets his eyes as he presses the side of his face into Keith's hand.]
This...[It's oddly difficult to form the words. He traces his thumb over the back of Keith's knuckles. Yet the fact Keith is staying is enough he says it.]
You're everything to me. You know that, don't you? [Can Keith guess what that means?] I'll never ask more of you than you want to give.
[He hears his name, and his first inclination is that he's definitely overstepped and Shiro is about to push him away. He expects it to be gentle, because Shiro is always far too kind, always mindful. But the hand on his at least slows that train of thought, stops him from immediately pulling back. And he's glad he didn't, when Shiro leans into his touch instead.
A little catch of his breath, barely a sound at all, is the only answer to the other man's words at first because Keith didn't know that, or well, maybe Keith hadn't been brave enough to really let himself believe it -- the roiling ball of insecurities that make up his very core has trouble with things like that.
But Shiro's said it, and Shiro has been the center of Keith's universe for a long time now. And he knows what he hopes Shiro means, but there's a nervous tightness in his chest, even as he speaks.]
What if I want to give you everything?
[As he asks he's shifting closer, too close really, straddling his lap, half joining him in his seat.]
[His mouth goes dry. He hadn’t expected Keith’s warm body up against his this soon. He drops his hands to Keith’s hips to hold him in place and steady him. He searches his face to make sure what he means has been communicated or guessed at. Judging by the lack of distance between them and the nervous hope in his eyes...he really hopes so.]
So long as you let me give you the same...I think we will be alright. [He leans in to rest his forehead against Keith’s. There’s a fluttery feeling in his chest as he lowers his voice so only Keith can hear him.]
I have one condition. Your feelings matter as much as mine and I expect you to voice them. The only thing that can mess this up is not talking to each other. Okay?
[Keith will probably always be more at home with action than words, with doing then trying to put the feelings in his head and in his heart into words. So for him making himself at home in Shiro's lap is much easier than trying to figure out how to confess out loud the things he wants and has wanted. Thankfully Shiro seems at least a little better. And Shiro knows him too well, Keith thinks as a smile threatens to break over his features. So he nods, barely a movement at all, not wanting to move away from Shiro where they're leaned together.]
I'll try. I'm not good at that, but for this... for us... I'll do my best to be better.
[Because Keith knows Shiro is right. They need to communicate. Keith is well aware how much of a work in progress he is in many respects, this certainly one of the, but he'll do whatever he can.
Though right now they're both dancing around the actual words. So. Maybe now is a good time to start. His hands lift, one settling to curl at the side of Shiro's neck, the other hand shifting so fingertips can trace their way along Shiro's lips.] You're the only one I've ever wanted... want... I want to be with you.
...Good. You’re the only one I want to be with. [He reaches out to grasp Keith’s chin as one hand slides around his hip to settle against the small of his back. The words are in the open air. Shiro doesn’t give much time for Keith to process his reply. He leans down, bridging the distance between them and kisses him.
He shifts the angle of his head a little to make it easier on both of them. He considers this past the point of words and lets his mind finally shut up. He doesn’t to think right now.]
[Keith can feel his heart try to leap straight into his throat before it settles back to his chest, fluttering like bird desperate to break free of his rib cage, at little more than that hand taking his chin. His breath catches in that instant before Shiro's lips are on his.
Shiro is kissing him.
Keith melts into him, arms moving to wind about Shiro's neck. He meets that kiss eagerly, like he's been waiting for it all this time, humming a soft, content little sound to the other man's lips. Words can wait. Everything can wait. All he needs or wants is this.]
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He's almost disappointed when the doors open, but he straightens up and follows Shiro onto the bridge, looking at the scattered chaos. Oh. He'd scared him, hadn't he?] Guess I kind of had you drop everything, huh?
[Oops. But he's more than grateful. If Shiro hadn't arrived when he did, Keith doesn't know if he'd have made it in the end. He hesitates before looking back to the taller man as he speaks.]
Yeah. Kolivan's all shop talk, all the time. [But. Well.] I was okay. Got scolded a lot about my emotions being a liability, about not going back for the others who didn't make it out, about the mission being the first and only priority.
[Keith understands it. The Blade of Marmora stood virtually alone against the Galra empire for millennia, a small fringe barely hanging on to existence, doing whatever they could. Emotions and attachments were a luxury beyond what they could afford. But understanding it or not, he's not great at that detachment.]
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...The way Voltron operates and the way the Blades have has always been different. We need our emotions. It's how the bond between us and in turn the Lions work.
[He looks up watching the data scroll up for a long moment and turns back to him.]
He still sent you out on solo missions. You don't do that with an operative you can't trust to succeed.
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[Keith admits. He'll protest to Kolivan over and over that he won't let his emotions get in the way, but. He also knows if any of the paladins needed him, if they were in danger, if he could do anything to help them -- or his mother, for that matter, or Kolivan himself, Keith can't see himself turning his back on any of them even for the good of the mission. Look what happened at the Kral Zera. Shiro showed up and Keith immediately tossed the mission out the window.
No need to bring that up though. Instead he shifts that much closer to the other man as well; there's something comforting about his presence. That's not new, just... something he missed.]
I think Kolivan is good enough at knowing what people are capable of. It wasn't an accident he sent me to retrieve my mother. I got a particularly clear "emotions are a luxury we can't afford" talk before that mission. And then Krolia's the one who broke that rule. She should've let them kill me.
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Shiro studies him with a neutral expression that's difficult to read. Like someone thinking over a question that deserves a great deal of thought. He's not surprised that Keith came to that conclusion. The Blade are about sacrifice. Too much in his opinion. Keith has always been self sacrificing. Willing to throw himself into the path of fire for the sake of others.
This is a dangerous precipice he's on and he's not sure how to guide him away from it.]
If it were the reverse, would you have let her die? Even if you didn't know who she was? [He knows the answer. But it isn't about what he knows.]
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He shifts his weight from one foot to another, hesitating at the question.]
My mission was to get her out... [That's partially true. Keeping the super weapon out of anyone's hands was first and foremost. But...] ...but no. I wouldn't have left without her, even if I didn't know who she was at the time.
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Teams don't work based on who is the most expendable, Keith. We all help each other and find a new path through that would have been unlikely if we'd been on our own. If she'd let you die, what would that have really accomplished?
You'd just be gone. Maybe for the Blades...that kind of reasoning is wrong. But not here. And not to you. That's never been who you were.
You always find new ways to make it through and bring everyone home.
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And there are parts of Keith that want to argue, reflexively want push back because in many ways it's easier if his life doesn't matter, but he's starting to wonder if there aren't people who need him after all, somehow.
He ducks his head.] You make it really hard to argue with you sometimes, you know. It's pretty annoying. [But he peeks up at Shiro with a smile.]
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[He picks up the datapad and finishes the check, swiping to the next one with a flick of his fingers.]
And trusting with my back. Just as you trust me with yours.
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He meant what he'd told Shiro, what feels like such a long time ago, that his life would have been so different if he never met him. Shiro is the only one who's never given up on him. And it hits Keith hard just how much he's missed him, how much he's worried that somehow he'd lost that.
Keith doesn't answer, just walks up behind Shiro and tips forward, leaning his forehead against Shiro's back, between his shoulder blades, armor or not, arms wrapping around him from behind. Just. Give him a minute here, Shiro.]
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He'd missed this. It had been so hard to let him go but Keith had told him what he'd needed at the time. He has a feeling that has changed for both of them. The mistakes he's made have taught him how to be better. Hopefully Keith and the team can benefit from his realizations.
It doesn't feel as insurmountable or confusing as it did when he got up that morning. He sets the pad down again, letting it automate the checks. Normally he does it manually.
Normally he does this alone. He breathes in deep.]
Remember, whenever you need me. I'm here. ...and thank you, for being there when I need you. I can't tell you how much that means to me.
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The hand that settles over his makes something ache in his chest, something warm and unspoken, and even if his face is currently hidden (or maybe because it is) he smiles.]
You've always been there for me, Shiro, when no one else has.
[The single, stable point in his universe.]
And I-- [The words stick in his throat, and a moment later he exhales a laugh, reluctantly he unwinds his arms from around him and steps around to face him.] Thanks.
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He'd seen the potential sleeping deep inside and now...He faces him and really looks at him, smile warm and real.]
Any time. When everyone else gave up you... [He ducks his head and laughs quietly to himself.]
...no. [Shiro shakes his head and looks him in the eye. He steps forward and lets instinct guide him, setting one hand on Keith's shoulder and letting every wall down to let see what he probably already could. He's so tired, but there's hope and affection in his eyes.]
Welcome home. The circumstances aren't ideal...but, I think everything will turn out okay, somehow. For both of us.
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That hand lands on his shoulder and he meets Shiro's gaze, and he sees that tiredness, he does, but he sees everything else there too. And whatever it takes, he... he wants to be here. For Shiro. He wants to be with him, wants to take some of the weight on his shoulders from him.]
It will. I think... I think I really believe that. It's good to be home.
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[The warmth hasn't left the room and he isn't about to force it out. It seems to be helping both of them.]
I know you've been right there when we listed technical details or plans, and when we gave you locations Lotor turned over....but our work has been about the same. Flying missions, taking out targets, and assisting the rebel forces. ...except Allura found something vital.
I'm not sure just what it means yet. But, she is now an Altean Alchemist just like her father was.
no subject
It's too precious, what they have between them, and he almost broke it already, with the way things had been going. He couldn't live with himself if he drove Shiro off. Like he's done with everyone else in his life.
So Keith moves to lean a hip against a console, listening as Shiro speaks.]
That's how he was able to make the Lions in the first place, right? That's incredible... how'd she manage that?
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He'd started noticing it consciously. Being away from Keith for so long makes it all too clear. His breath had caught when Keith had turned into his touch. He shouldn't chase that feeling. But he leans on the console cutting more of the distance between them, his arm resting near Keith's hip.]
There's an old Altean myst about a mystical land...and through his research and Allura finding a special stone among Haggar's research materials...we found it.
[He shifts, leaning a bit into Keith as he uses his right hand to bring up the images and video of the white hole and its guardian. He shouldn't be so affection starved. It puts a lot on Keith when he's already asking so much of him. But it's like being a moth attracted to the flames.]
It's called Oriande. Only worthy Alteans can pass the guardian. It disabled the ship and Voltron. If Allura hadn't been found worthy... [He trails off, unsure if he should finish and shakes his head.] The important part is she was able to succeed and restore both.
no subject
He notices Shiro leaning closer. Of course he does. He's aware of the other in a way he's never been with anyone else, like some magnetic pull between them keeps some internal compass always aligned when they're close. Never mind when Shiro actually leans into him, and Keith is sure even that incidental touch burns.]
...if she hadn't, you wouldn't have made it. Any of you.
[It's a chilling thought, to hear they'd come that close -- which is strange. They all risk their lives every day in this war. But to know concretely that he'd almost lost them all, almost lost Shiro, and he hadn't even known, it makes his chest feel too tight, a sharp shatter of feeling.
He reaches over, fingertips moving carefully through that shock of white hair, brushing it back, touch lingering so much longer than it ought to. He can't imagine never seeing him again, never hearing his voice. Never having told him... but no. Shiro is alive. His heart refuses to even entertain the idea of Shiro being gone for good, recoils painfully from it.]
Shiro...
*myth not myst. Alteans did not have Myst games
Losing Keith would have ended him. He'd have never been the same from that moment on. The thought had made him act and here and now. He lifts his head, meeting his eyes.]
It didn't happen. We're all here. [Every touch feels like it settles something into place that he wasn't aware he needed.]
And I didn't lose you today, either. We'll all see tomorrow together.
If it was Myst, they'd definitely be dead, and Allura would still be stuck in the rocket ship
Instead his hand moves down, over his cheek, thumb tracing the line of that strong jaw. And he's definitely overstepping here, but it's so hard to care in the moment. They're all here. Shiro is right about that. As close as they've come, too many times really, here they are, both living and breathing and it takes all the willpower Keith has (which honestly; he's not the best at controlling his impulses, it's an impressive feat he's made it this far) not to just invite himself into Shiro's lap.]
Yeah. We're here.
[Alive and breathing and sharing the same space for the first time in forever. It's more reason for hope than he's had in quite a while. And maybe he doesn't deserve to be here just yet, but here he is, and Shiro needs him, and that's more than enough reason to stay. ...that and the fact that, deserving or not, he wants to be right here.]
The horrible part is I could see it.
Hey, Keith. [He could put a stop to this right now. But he doesn't want to. Now that he's aware that the feelings are mutual. His resistance is thinning down to nothing. He meets his eyes as he presses the side of his face into Keith's hand.]
This...[It's oddly difficult to form the words. He traces his thumb over the back of Keith's knuckles. Yet the fact Keith is staying is enough he says it.]
You're everything to me. You know that, don't you? [Can Keith guess what that means?] I'll never ask more of you than you want to give.
no subject
A little catch of his breath, barely a sound at all, is the only answer to the other man's words at first because Keith didn't know that, or well, maybe Keith hadn't been brave enough to really let himself believe it -- the roiling ball of insecurities that make up his very core has trouble with things like that.
But Shiro's said it, and Shiro has been the center of Keith's universe for a long time now. And he knows what he hopes Shiro means, but there's a nervous tightness in his chest, even as he speaks.]
What if I want to give you everything?
[As he asks he's shifting closer, too close really, straddling his lap, half joining him in his seat.]
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So long as you let me give you the same...I think we will be alright. [He leans in to rest his forehead against Keith’s. There’s a fluttery feeling in his chest as he lowers his voice so only Keith can hear him.]
I have one condition. Your feelings matter as much as mine and I expect you to voice them. The only thing that can mess this up is not talking to each other. Okay?
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I'll try. I'm not good at that, but for this... for us... I'll do my best to be better.
[Because Keith knows Shiro is right. They need to communicate. Keith is well aware how much of a work in progress he is in many respects, this certainly one of the, but he'll do whatever he can.
Though right now they're both dancing around the actual words. So. Maybe now is a good time to start. His hands lift, one settling to curl at the side of Shiro's neck, the other hand shifting so fingertips can trace their way along Shiro's lips.] You're the only one I've ever wanted... want... I want to be with you.
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He shifts the angle of his head a little to make it easier on both of them. He considers this past the point of words and lets his mind finally shut up. He doesn’t to think right now.]
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Shiro is kissing him.
Keith melts into him, arms moving to wind about Shiro's neck. He meets that kiss eagerly, like he's been waiting for it all this time, humming a soft, content little sound to the other man's lips. Words can wait. Everything can wait. All he needs or wants is this.]
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